That is funny that you put it that way about it putting a resistive streak in you.
I had a talk with my dad a couple of years ago about this.
He was trying to down-play the reality of the situation, and I said that I never complained about it and don't now, because it certainly shaped who I am now.
And that if I did not become used to stuff like that I would probably have been less aggressive and assertive and resistant to other things.
It is like that saying in Fight Club about after hitting and getting hit, the rest of the nonsense in the world has the volume turned down to it.
You put it in perspective.
If you are used to physical violence and it is a part of your daily life, you don't really have a fear of it.
And you don't have a fear of the threat of it.
And you don't have a fear of things that are less than that.
Name calling and other things are meaningless.
And all the other stuff that is happening doesn't seem to be as big a deal as people make it out to be when they are complaining about it.
In the long term, it worked out OK now that I have perspective of it as an adult.
But in the immediate term as a child it had a very different effect.
When my father's first inclination to deal with a situation was physical violence to me, it had an effect on me.
As a kid, if there was a conflict with other kids, my first reaction to solve it was physical violence also.
I realized that other kids seemed surprised by this.
But I thought if they threatened something or called a name or otherwise started shit, that we were already in a situation and I reacted to it.
Apparently other kids had a cycle of pushing and name calling and other things to either work themselves up to the actual fight part, or to give them or the other a chance to back out before it got to that.
I had no problem going from zero to sixty.
I thought that was normal.
But I could tell it caught others by surprise.
In retrospect, I realized that it was because I was used to being hit and had become comfortable with it.
So I had no fear of being hit from others and I had no delay in hitting them.
This continued into my adulthood until, fortunately, I took stock of it and put it in perspective.
But I also realize that different people react to it differently.
I responded that way, by being agressive myself.
Being generally good and happy in disposition, but having a reserviour of aggession built up that the door would open to if someone knocked on it the wrong way.
But I've seen others be brow beaten, their personality deformed by that kind of experience as a child, being generally frightened by every sudden movement, and extremely nervous.
And others turn that combative energy in on themselves instead of externally.
And others turn it onto the people that are close to them.
#2 - I hear you.
I wasn't saying it was a positive thing. Just that I incorporated it a certain way.
Whereas others absorb it in a completely different way like the examples we both mentioned.
Also, I don't think it was necessarily positive the [way] I developed a certain comfort level with it. But it did give me an edge in moments when I would have been bullied.
Although, at a certain point, when I became an adult, I realized how ridiculous it was that I was still getting into fights.
And like you, I now make an effort to avoid violence and am often disgusted by it. People yelling at each other and needlessly berating and otherwise abusing each other repulses me.
Especially when I see adults yelling at kids and even kids yelling at kids.
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